Don't Expect Rational Behavior From Irrational People

Some portion of a population are crazy or irrational. Get over it and deal with it accordingly.

“Irrational” People and Their Behaviors

Key Points to Know about Irrational People

1. About 15-20% of people are not rational. (“irrational”)

2. Never expect rational behavior from irrational people.

3. Usually, there are multiple reasons for irrational behaviors.

4. You often will never know what the reasons are (the why), but you often have to deal with the behaviors and problems that result.

5. Quote from Robert F. Kennedy: “20% of the people are unhappy about everything all the time.”

6. Many people respond to today’s situations out of yesterday’s memories

Typical mentality of people who do not accept responsibility for their decisions and actions:

1. Transferal – Always blaming other people and circumstances for their problems, rarely takes responsibility for their own decisions and behaviors, classic victim mentality

2. Rationalization – I am OK because I am not as bad as he/she is. Examples: (1) He stole a computer from work and I only “borrowed” a stapler. (2) He robbed a convenience store and I just fudge a little on my taxes. (3) It’s OK to drink and drive; everybody else does.

3. Denial – That won’t happen to me. Refusal to accept something unpleasant and/or the potential consequences of it. Examples: (1) I do not file tax returns because the paperwork is too much trouble. Besides, I am small potatoes and the IRS only audits the big guys. (2) Teenager: Oh, I can’t get pregnant the first time. It won’t happen to me (pregnancy and/or STD). (3) Oh, I’ll just try this heroine/fentanyl once to see what it’s like.

Why are some people “irrational?” (common causes)

1. Mental illness: depression, bi-polar, anger, rage, crazy, fear, phobias, etc. (brain chemistry)

2. Substance abuse: drugs and/or alcohol

3. Victim of something: abuse (mental, physical, or both), trauma, PTSD, rejection by someone, betrayal

4. Stress, stressed out: can be real or perceived (most stress comes from fear of failure), overwhelmed

5. Illness, sickness, lack of sleep and rest, fatigue

6. Combinations of #s 1-5 above. Note: Often there are problems at home and not just at work

Responding to today’s issues out of yesterday’s memories (of bad experiences):

1. Insecure – low self-esteem, feeling of inferiority

2. Jealous and paranoid – difficulty in trusting people

3. Defensive – always trying to prove themselves

4. Martyr mentality – “It’s me against the world.”

5. Self-pity – “poor me.”

6. Isolation – “I’m the only one; I’m different.”

7. Chip on your shoulder – “What exactly did they mean by that?”

8. Argumentative and contentious – always looking for a fight

9. Anxieties, phobias, and disorders – inner turmoil always stirring

10. Pessimistic – always seeing the “dark side.”

11. Depression – a cloud of gloom always hangs over them

12. Loneliness and fear of intimacy – keeping people at a distance

13. Victim mentality – it becomes their source of attention and identity, their excuse for their failures and behavior

14. Controlling and domineering – “My way or the highway.” Narcissistic. Overcompensation for insecurities

15. Fear of failure – no confidence to try to succeed

16. Fear of success – no confidence to hold on to success

17. Aloof and cold – “I don’t need anyone or anything.”

18. Transferal – “Everyone else has the problem; not me.

19. Denial – Will not accept that something negative might or bad might happen to them

What to Do.

If you expect rational behavior from an "irrational" person, you will only set yourself up for big time frustration. Just stop doing that because the irrational person will let you down almost every time. They usually operate on an emotional level much more than they operate on a logical, analytical, or rational level. Once you do determine that someone is "irrational", then deal with them accordingly. Logic often will not work with this person. Tell them clearly what you need or expect. Do not expect them to agree with you and then you should be willing to just walk away. If you supervise someone like this, you may just have to tell them plainly what you expect and the consequence for non-compliance. Dial up the consequences properly through a good corrective action process.

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